I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
