i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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