he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize