Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
