I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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