yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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