Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
