Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i need some magic done to my vagina
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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