PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
