I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Randomize
