Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
