i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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