We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
