If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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