he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
