My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
