Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
