Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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