I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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