Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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