the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
