he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
