Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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