there was a trapeze. enough said
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
