So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
