smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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