well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
