You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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