ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
