I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
