So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
