I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
