I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
