he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
