i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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