Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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