Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
