Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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