I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize