youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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