is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
