Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
