how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
