covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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