i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
