you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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