The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
