We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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