what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
