I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
her vagine was all disorganized.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
