Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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