I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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