Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
