I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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