RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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