The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
