Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
