So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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