He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
