You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
